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Why not? Oh no, no, no! I’ll get everyone quiet. Ladies and gentlemen, we are privileged to witness a great historic moment. His Majesty King Shahdov has graciously consented to give us Hamlet’s To Be Or Not To Be. There are many ways of playing the soliloquy of Hamlet. There’s the pale, thoughtful, anemic Prince. There’s the mad, bombastic one. Which do you prefer? Anything but anemic. Very well. ”To be, or not to be: ”that is the question. ”Whether ’tis nobler to suffer ”the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, ”or to take arms against a sea of troubles, ”and by opposing end them? ”To die: to sleep, no more, ”and by a sleep to say we end ”the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to, ”’tis a consummation devoutly to be wished. ”To die, to sleep games ”To sleep, ”perchance to dream: ”There’s the rub. ”For who would bear the whips and scorns of time? ”The oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely, ”the pangs of despised love, ”the law’s delay. ”The insolence of office, and the spurns that patient merit ”of the unworthy takes, ”when he himself might his quietus take ”with a bare bodkin? ”Who would fardels bear, to sweat ”and grunt under a weary life? ”But that the dread ”of something after death ”that undiscovered country ”from whose bourn no traveler returns ”puzzles the will ”and makes us rather bear those ills we have ”than fly to others that we know not of? ”Thus conscience games ” I’ve forgotten. Oh no! Please go on. No, no. I’m sorry. You’ve just heard a recital of Hamlet by His Majesty King Shahdov. We now return to Ann Kay’s Real Life Surprise Party after station identification. This is station KXPA. How can I thank you? What a privilege. What genius! You liked it? You have such power, such anger! What a success you’d be as an actor. But actors need more than genius to succeed. They need good sound teeth. Naturally. Have you the assurance to speak and face others without danger of being repellent? There you go again! How can an actor play opposite a lovely leading



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