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himself a piece of frontline frippet? It’s my mother I’m talking about. She’s around here somewhere. So, where else should a boy’s mother be but at his side at a time like this? Edna phoned me she’s on the Warpath. She’s got the needle to me. And she wants half my money. I’d give her half of mine if I thought it would make her happy. You would? Look, it isn’t as simple as all that. Now, listen to me, kid. She won’t come around here. You have my personal guarantee. Fix her for me, Johnny. Sure, I’ll fix her for you! I’m your manager, aren’t I? Your friend, your chum, your protector. Now, go out there and kill ’em! Tonight, eight million telly-hugging imbeciles are going to fall in love with you simultaneously! Thank you! Thank you, all! You, too, up there! It’s wonderful to know you still love me! Now, here’s a new singer making his very first variety appearance. Your own Bongo Herbert! Thank you, thank you very much. Thank you very much, thank you very much indeed. It’s not generally known that I’m a deeply religious boy. And here in this theatre tonight, we’re glad it’s Sunday, because, well, we’ve had a number specially written for this show. We’d like to dedicate it to Games To a lady who taught us that there’s someone bigger than you or I, my mother. For my mother I’d like to sing for you my latest recording, The Shrine on the Second Floor. Take it, Bert. I was born in the heart of a city In a room that I’ll always adore Though it’s not much to see It’s like heaven to me The shrine on the second floor There’s a beautiful grey-haired Madonna Who once taught me what life had in store And I lift up my eyes to that saint in disguise In the shrine on the second floor Whenever my troubles seem too much to bear I look for the answer, and then I kneel down and see that light shining there And everything turns out right again When I’m old and I find that I’m lonely I’ll return to my heaven once more I’ll remember the face of a lady of grace On the shrine on the second floor When I’m old and I find