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You notice anything different about him? Look at his face. MARK: That’s pretty racist. JARED: Look at his eyes! I’ll give you a hint. His name’s Yang! He won a national math competition in China! He doesn’t even speak English! Yeah, I’m sure of the math. Actually, my name’s Jiang and I do speak English. Jared likes to say I don’t because he thinks it makes me seem more authentic. And I got second in that national math competition. So you’re offering us a chance to short this pile of blocks? How? With something called a credit default swap. (CLAPS HANDS) It’s like insurance on the bond, and if it goes bust you can make to , even to return. And it’s already slowly going bust! to ? to ? No way. JARED: And no one’s paying attention. No one is paying attention! Because the banks are too busy getting paid obscene fees to sell these bonds. But wait. You are the bank. You work for the bank. I bet your margins are pretty nice and fat. Let’s not talk about my margins, by the way. Being nice and fat, that’s a nice shirt. Do they make it for men? (DANNY AND PORTER SNICKERING) VINNIE: Aren’t you the bank? I work for the bank. I don’t think like a bank. Big bank, small bank, I like to make money. All right? Let me put it this way. I’m standing in front of a burning house… And I’m offering you fire insurance on it. How can these underlying bonds be as bad as you say? It wouldn’t be legal. (CLEARS THROAT) Nobody knows what’s in them. Nobody knows what’s in the bonds. I’ve seen some that are % AAA rated that I know for a fact are filled with % subprime shit with FICOs below ! Get the out of here. You want me to really blow your mind? When the market deems a bond too risky to buy, what do you think we do with it? Take a guess. I don’t know. You tell me. All right. You think we just warehouse it on the books? No. We just repackage it with a bunch of other shit that didn’t sell and put it into a CDO. MARK: A CDO? JARED: Yes. A CDO. What is that? This is where we take a bunch of



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