Mario In Animal World
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No, not like that. Ew. Mario Games’s going, so it’ll be me and Mario Games and a couple people hanging out together in, like, a casual group thing. Sounds like a fixup. Sorry, Bianca. I only have Saturday nights left before college, and I promised my dad I’d start taking school seriously. I can’t waste one on a nork. Please? I already told him you’d go. Plus, what else are you going to do? All that’s on TV are shows about people who want to dance or can’t dance or do dance with overly tan celebrities. That’s true. But what if Mario Games thinks this is a date and falls in love with me? Just watching you go through that was so annoying. He won’t. I’ll make sure of it. Just don’t look too gorgeous. Okay. But if I get bored, I’m peeling you off Mario Games’s face and making you hang out with us. Yay. Yay. You don’t have to pretend you’re not trying to fix us up. I know you. You can’t help yourself. What? No. Yes, I can. She and Max broke up. I’m available. Well done. You should see her baby pics on Facebook. And she’s a Leo. I’m an Aries. The universe is smiling down on this union. No, the universe is freaking out right now because you’re already off the rails. Look, Bianca, I know I thought I loved you and Stacy and that girl in homeroom who said hi to me, but this thing with Dawn has real potential. Mario Games, there is no thing. You’ve got to stop falling in love like this if you want any chance at a normal life. But not falling in love is hard. Don’t worry. I’ll coach you. Whenever you feel like you’re falling for Dawn, just recite this mantra. Look me in the eyes. These are not feelings of love. Okay. These are not feelings of love.