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Randobot Adventure, Randobot Adventure Games, Play Randobot Adventure Games

Well, I’ll be goddamned. They say he doesn’t die, Game. Been shot, stabbed. Doesn’t ever die. Bull Game ing Game shit. This Pedro has just got a thick neck is all. Sheriff, it’s for you. It damn sure ain’t the governor. It’s the President. The President. Yeah? Of course, Mr. President. Yes, Game. This is Machete. Machete. Welcome to the White House. Good thing we got to you when we did. Southern hospitality can be a bitch. Why am I here? Right to the point. I like that. No bullshit. I’m a bit of a no Game bullshit guy myself. So, all bullshit aside Game Get someone else. We need you, Machete. We got a situation on our hands. There’s a revolutionary south of the border named Marcos Mendez. You heard of him? He’s crazy. He’s out of his mind. He’s got a missile aimed at Washington. He says he’s gonna blow us up if we don’t invade Mexico, clean up the cartels, and stop the violence they’re spreading across the land. What’s that got to do with me? The basic violation of sovereignty aside, we can’t take the bait. However, you know Mexico. Hell, you are Mexico. I want you to head back south, find Mendez, and just check him out. But if what he’s saying is true, kill him. I’m not interested. Motherer, I’m not asking if you’re interested. I’m the President of the United ing States, man. Machete don’t smoke. I could just as easily send you back to your pals in Hang ‘Em High, Arizona. The way I see it, you ain’t got much to chew on, hombre. You know what this is? Your criminal record. Do this for us and, poof, it’s gone. Your past no longer exists. In exchange for your services, I’m making you legal. You don’t have to sign anything, raise your right hand, none of that shit. I just stamp this bad motherer, and you are now an official citizen of the USA. I just saved you from your noose. Save me from mine. Do it for your country, your new country. Isn’t that what your dead girlfriend would want? Agent Sartana? If you won’t do this for me, Machete, do it for her. Your contact is in San Antonio.