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and tell anybody you’re okay, thinking one minute, “Oh, yeah, I’m a foreign correspondent, and the next minute somebody who you respect killed, and you have nothing.” Jim was concerned that his own competitiveness with Manu, with Anton, with himself, his own, sort of macho aggressiveness had driven him to make decisions that were not the best decisions. We were all questioning our judgment. One of the main things that affected all of us is that Anton had kids and none of us do. Every day I have to deal with the fact that Anton is not going to ever see his three kids anymore, and I was part of that decision-making process… that took him away, that took him away from his kids, and his wife. And I had a lot of time to play over those moments, especially that one day when we were captured. I tried to question myself, “What are your reporting on, what is this all about?” It was quickly apparent that this was about being what you think is an authentic conflict correspondent, seeing the front line and it not being enough to just see it from a distance, but to push it to the next level. You were basically waiting to get shelled and the question is, why? You know, why are you doing this? A lot of us were just scratching our head, right? There’s no money. Maybe you get a story here or there that you sell. You know I used to “loan him money.” You know, my credit report has one ding on it and it’s the one loan that I co-signed with Jim. I think Jimmy was just a little outside the lines, you know. Well, he was wicked disorganized. We had to tell him to come to dinner. Like if dinner was at :, we’d tell him it was at :, so he’d show up at :. He always lives in the moment. I don’t know if Mike ever told you that Jim was late to his wedding. “John, can I sleep at your house?” “John, can my friend stay at your house?” “Yes, Jim, yes.” Even though you just were like, “Jim, just wake up! Wake up! What are you doing? Get a real job, start saving up for retirement.” I remember I said like, you know, why don’t you come to Chicago, my dad runs this boot camp, it’s teaching young felons. He goes there for the interview and I call him afterwards and I’m like, “How’d the interview go?” He’s like “Oh, it was great, I think it went great.” I call up my dad, and he goes, “He said it went great, did he? ‘Cause I just talked to the lady at the hiring board and when she went out there, she found Jim sleeping with his head back on a wall and he’s wearing jeans with like paints or something all over them.” And I called Jim back, I’m like, “Jim, what the hell happened at the interview?” He’s like, “It was hot in there, Tom. It was hot. I just put my head back and I nodded off.” And I’m like, “Did you have jeans on with paint?” He’s like, “Yeah, they had like these like, symbols on it, what was I supposed to wear?” I’m like, “Jim, it’s an interview, it’s an interview. You can’t do this!” And so my dad always says that, “Jim has a million dollar resume and a ten cent interview.” He came and he started teaching reading and writing, some literature and he was really good with these kids